I find myself with some time this morning as I got up at 5:45am only to show up to the wrong place for a bible study. Nobody’s fault but mine. And actually, I’m glad to have accidentally cleared some time where I’m alone at a coffee shop and just happen to have a computer handy. If I were to go home to nap at this point, I’d have about 15 minutes before I needed to get up again anyway. I call it the perfect storm for reasons to blog.

So without a better reason to blog (ok let’s face, there are lots of important things I could talk about, and I’m just too noncommittal right now), how about some truths.

1. Sometimes I worry about things that don’t matter too much. I’ve been like that since I was a kid. I would worry about all sorts of things that were not huge deals but that felt as overwhelming as financial issues seem now. I remember one time I didn’t hug my dad goodnight and sat up crying all night because I thought he would think I didn’t love him. I wonder if things like that should give me a clue that perhaps even my current worries are over things that don’t matter too much, that maybe these issues aren’t very much bigger than those from childhood. Maybe I just overreact. God has graciously allowed me to let some of that go in recent years but has left enough of it to remind me where I fail and that I need him to continually release me from that trap.

2. I will never be Jeremy Cowart. He’s good. So good! I enjoy the categories that he’s created on his website, too. I enjoy original usage of categorization if that makes sense. If you peruse his site, my guess is you’ll find a lot of photos you’ve seen before. Because hey, it’s Jeremy Cowart (i.e. you should know who these photographers are who take the photos you see a lot). Mario Testino is another one. He’s created lots of Vanity Fair / Vogue covers and editorial spreads over the years, but he is also (and more importantly in my opinion) a consistently utilized force in many many (omg maaaany) seasonal fashion ad campaigns from the likes of Gucci, Burberry (my fave), Dolce & Gabbana, Versace, etc. Check it out!

3. I want to be a writer. And at this point, i’ll go ahead and let that also be my confession that I really want to go back to school for something creative. Anything, really. I enjoy all of it, at least in theory. I’m inclined to some things more than others. Photography, film, writing, for instance. I doubt I’ll ever be a painter or sculptor. I want to keep that sense of awe about some forms of art by refraining from learning how those things are done. I can’t imagine sculpting something from a block of material, especially a material that’s really dense and hard to cut. But people do it, and it’s amazing. Likewise, I SUCK at painting, though I think I could be good if I tried harder. I don’t want to try harder.

4. I am addicted to coffee. Specifically, Americanos. And I see no change in the near future. Hey, this isn’t a list of things I wish were different. Not completely anyway.

5. I’m addicted to gmail. Ok, that I wish was different. I have looked at my inbox at least twice since starting this post. And I think that’s an improvement from the norm. I don’t know what I think will be so imperative that I stop everything to respond instantaneously.

6. I’m not a big reader. And something tells me changing that may be the key to writing better. I decided last night that I’m going to compile a list of classics to read over the course of the next year. One per month for a year in addition to whatever else I’m reading. I think it’s doable. And maybe on the last Saturday of each month I’ll post a review, anecdote, analogy, something from each book. Any suggestions? Keep in mind, I’m thinking fiction.

7. I’m not big on raw tomatoes. One thing I’m pretty sure no one will ever convince me, is that the red, circular, slimy, dirt-tasting objects people eat with their sandwiches actually add anything to the experience. Yuck. Get outta here. (Oddly, I love me some cooked tomatoes.)

8. People called me Dawson in high school. No, not because he was graduating the same year as me (2001). Not because we were both trying to get into film school. Not because we were both pretentious a-holes  who used wildly outlandish words in all contexts, pretending they were all casual and appropriate. It was none of those things. It was a combination of a large forehead and thick eyebrows. I get that comparison less these days. Thankfully.

9. I am such a sucker for some good old-fashioned Christmas commercialism. I don’t give a rip about Santa or pretending he’s real for my kid(s) in the future, but I am charmed very easily by ornaments, movies, or greeting cards about him. I will always put up a tree and decorations, and the sooner the better as far as I’m concerned. We’ll probably put our tree up when we come back home after our Cali trip for Thanksgiving.

10. One of my favorite people died on September 5th. My grandma. She was the best, and I miss her a lot. I was tempted to be sad about not seeing her one more time, but ultimately I’m really glad that Heather got to meet her, and I’ve decided that it’s inappropriate to think that one more visit would have added anything to the relationship. It was ok the way it was. It doesn’t change the past 26 years of love. (She would have been writing me the best Halloween story right now.)

And that’s my Thursday offering. About 1000 words worth. Also, Xtreme Bean smells like popcorn right now.

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